Tuesday, June 18, 2013


...is not a sin. :D

This pic... the look... the legs... almost a hands-free operation over here. For the first seven years of this, my ridiculous infatuation, there was none of that. Now, however, that seems to add a physical aspect to my love of this girl. I cannot see it as wrong in any way, shape, or form...

...except for maybe in public. :D

Sunday, June 2, 2013

The value of Gwyneth

I've read essays - diatribes, if you prefer - from people claiming that celebrity worship is an unworthy endeavor. That humans such as Jonas Salk contributed more to human advancement that some mere performer, and as such are more worthy of our consideration.

In simple terms, I've never been vaccinated for polio, I do have Gwyneth tattooed on my arm. In even simpler terms, I remain unconvinced that Gwyneth Paltrow is not the most valuable human being ever evolved. If the why of her is not enough, then consider the why of me.

Of course, I am in love. :D

Monday, May 27, 2013


So I'm in the joint, May of 2000; not because I'm a criminal, but because I have no direction. I have no reason.

And all I'm good for, is drawing stuff. I'm drawing stuff for the denizens of county, for coffee, for colored pencils, when I decide to draw my favorite actress, Gwyneth Paltrow. One sketch, and she became the one real thing in my life. I don't know why. I don't know why all the real people in my life seemed so less than real. I don't know why she was so vivid, so tangible, so very much that girl. But from one sketch I fell, from hundreds I continue to fall; and from this life I continue to lead, this girl that I've never met is more my truth than the air that I breathe.

Gwyneth Paltrow, I love you. I don't know why, I cannot say that I care why, I can say that I shall always love you. For you are my why.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


I had to say it.

Some people, wanna use the "S" word. I ain't stalking no Gwyneth Paltrow. Ridiculous. I come up on her, she gives me the "raised eyebrow," and I'm done. Melted, or exploded, or... just lost. I'm so in love with Gwyneth, just looking at her makes my whole body tingle. Girls I encounter that look like her, slay me. 

Stalker my ass. I'm gonna love her from way the fuck over here, where it is safe. Where neither heads nor hearts explode. Where she need not fear me for my fear of her reigns supreme. Yeah, I'm afraid of her. I'm wrapped around her simulated finger. Her real finger would erase me.

I love her.

Too much - way too much - but I'll leave the stalking to the clowns. If you don't mind...

Monday, May 20, 2013

A curious habit...

Some people think my habit of watching Gwyneth video a frame at a time is a little strange, but there's a perfectly logical explanation...

Stills produce the accidental Gwynnies. Looks of hers not staged to draw, or in this case, to draw on. What is strange is how fascinating this girl remains.


Saturday, May 18, 2013


She's neurotic. Driven by obsessive perfectionism. At times whiny, moody; at times, a stunning bitch.

Love is not blind, love is blinding. A perpetual state of wonderment. I love being in love with my Gwynnies. She's Kate, I met one time at the party, and the twenty four minutes we shared, relived every morning.

I'm fat. Lazy and unambitious. At times whiny, moody; at times a stunning bitch.

Friday, May 17, 2013

My Gwynnies?

I can just imagine Gwyneth going, "your Gwynnies!?!? I'll give you a your Gwynnies!"

Wait! I can explain! It's witchcraft!

Are you calling me a witch?!?!

Well... you did devour my soul...

Witchcraft, in the sense that words have a certain power, and the naming of things among the most powerful words of all. After saying for years, "I love Gwyneth Paltrow," I had to ask myself, do I? Really?

The answer to that question was, yes; but in 2005 I realized I was in love with the "Gwyneth Paltrow" from 2001. At the same time, I'm quite smitten by the Gwyneth from 2011, pictured above. However, I have no claim upon the person of Gwyneth. I had to further ask myself, upon what do I have a claim?

My Gwynnies. The hundreds of likenesses of her I have drawn, the hundreds of images liberated from magazines and tacked upon my wall, but most importantly, the mathematical theology that is "I love my Gwynnies."

Gwyneth Paltrow is a girl; I don't care if she's married, I adore her. Gwyneth Paltrow is also a corporate product, marketed and sold to a global population of consumers; and yeah, I'm sold on that product. Thus, the my in my Gwynnies can be said to merely emphasize brand loyalty.

Yet what it really emphasizes is the extent to which my identity - my name - is entangled with my love for this most wonderful of creatures.