I can just imagine Gwyneth going, "your Gwynnies!?!? I'll give you a your Gwynnies!"
Wait! I can explain! It's witchcraft!
Are you calling me a witch?!?!
Well... you did devour my soul...
Witchcraft, in the sense that words have a certain power, and the naming of things among the most powerful words of all. After saying for years, "I love Gwyneth Paltrow," I had to ask myself, do I? Really?
The answer to that question was, yes; but in 2005 I realized I was in love with the "Gwyneth Paltrow" from 2001. At the same time, I'm quite smitten by the Gwyneth from 2011, pictured above. However, I have no claim upon the person of Gwyneth. I had to further ask myself, upon what do I have a claim?
My Gwynnies. The hundreds of likenesses of her I have drawn, the hundreds of images liberated from magazines and tacked upon my wall, but most importantly, the mathematical theology that is "I love my Gwynnies."
Gwyneth Paltrow is a girl; I don't care if she's married, I adore her. Gwyneth Paltrow is also a corporate product, marketed and sold to a global population of consumers; and yeah, I'm sold on that product. Thus, the my in my Gwynnies can be said to merely emphasize brand loyalty.
Yet what it really emphasizes is the extent to which my identity - my name - is entangled with my love for this most wonderful of creatures.